Top Ten Reasons I Won't Be Sending My Future Children to My Camps

I thought I might spice up the bloggie blog a bit with some Top Ten Lists. Here's the first one:

10. It might hurt their feelings when all the camp staff get printed t-shirts, but the girls have to make their own.
9. They won't be able to utilize the frequent smoke breaks, as I won't be supplying them with cigs.
8. I would prefer no one ever call my son a "Pixie."
7. Their musical tastes probably will not include early 90's Reba, thus they would be ridiculed.
6. Swimming with shoes on is not a good look.
5. Seductive dance is reserved for afterschool activities only.
4. I am fresh out of space for kitschy crafts.
3. There are enough creepy old men at the mall for our taste, thank you very much.
2. Porter johns are acceptable for state fairs and construction sites, but not for week-long, children's events.
1. I will be taking sweet revenge on Ranger Rulebook by sending 2 less kids into his brainwashing realm.

Of course, this is all in good fun. I have wonderful volunteers whom I would most certainly trust with my children. These are just some infractions that have been caught in the past.