One to Hang on The Fridge

I just finished up with my annual review and, I have to say, it went very well. Toot toot. (That was me tooting my own horn.) I'll paint you a picture...

My two bosses called me into the office this afternoon about 15 minutes after we were scheduled to meet. Way to make a girl sweat.

They were seated side by side, across the table from me. One of my bosses, YesMan, is who I spend most of my days with. YesMan is actually a she, and I like her very much. She got her moniker from her easy-going personality. YesMan believes in autonomy and letting people work their own way. If you ask her to let you try out a little something new or to leave work early or to help you think through a problem, her answer is almost always an unequivocal YES. My other boss, my solid-line boss, as they like to call her around here, works a couple of hours away on a daily basis. They call her my solid-line boss because YesMan is my dotted-line boss. What that amounts to is madness, basically. The solid-line boss has more authority over me, and yet, rarely sees me. Oh, and the two of them are lateral within the company. It's very confusing, I know. Imagine me on a daily basis, going into YesMan's office to ask a question, only to realize I must take it back and call the long distance boss, Deb-OR-Uh. It's important that you pronounce her name that way instead of abbreviate it. I learned this quickly. Anyway, this makes it sound like I do not like Deb-OR-Uh, but I do. I actually like her very much as well. I'm a lucky gal to have these woman lead me. YesMan is so genuine and caring, and Deb-OR-Uh is so outspoken and spicy!

Having these two women before me, I wasn't exactly nervous. If they had issues with me before today, they would've (and have) expressed them already. We went through each section of the form, discussing my accomplishments since our last meeting. So far, so good.

Pause. I need to give you a little background. My last review was horrendous. Okay... It wasn't that bad, but it wasn't good. I was having some issues with a couple of staff members,and they were having even larger issues with me. Whereas they had been dutifully tattling on me to YesMan, I had been keeping quiet, thinking that was the mature thing to do. Unfortunately, it shed me a guilty light. In all honesty, now that I have stepped back from the situation, there were just a lot of miscommunications and even a total lack of communication at times. I still scored a "Very Good" overall, but I received alot more negative feedback than my overachiever ego is accustomed to.

Anyway, YesMan and Deb-OR-Uh go on to announce how proud they are of me and of my "growth through adversity." The remainder of the meeting was pretty much a swan song to my former self and a victorious Hallmark card dedicated to my improvement. That phrase, though, "growth through adversity" stuck with me and got me thinking...

Not to sing a sad, autobiographical song, but that's really been a strong theme throughout my adolescence and adult life. One of my favorite quotes of all time is "Life is not about waiting for the storm to pass. It's about learning to dance in the rain." For a 25-year-old woman (if I can call myself that), I have been through some tough stuff -- an extremely unhealthy and abusive relationship, almost losing my mom twice, battling illness and infertility, marriage, watching my parents lose the life it took them 30 years to build... and that's not all. But I'm not asking for pity or sympathy. (Sometimes, when I have a really down day, I DO ask for those things from Muscles, but usually I don't like to dwell on them.) I think God has given me challenges, knowing I would figure out the best way to face them and come out on the other side more mature and resilient. Not only that, but I think I am called to help others who are going through difficult times when the assurance and peace God gave me. Maybe I just have The Big Head after my swell review, but I think I have always felt this way. Counseling and talking comes natural to me. I belong in a place, in a profession, where I can utilize those skills.

Okay. Toot toot. Enough about me... Oh wait. This is my bloggie blog. :)